I realized after I wrote this article that Valentine's Day will have passed once it's published but I think it's still a fun read either way. Here are some of the unwritten rules at Oley's.
Rule #1- NO REM OIL! We will NEVER have any Remington brand oil in the store and we need to know right away if there is any possibility of anything you bring in to the store having Rem-oil on it. This rule is an odd one but could be life or death for me. I am pretty sure we have more Bendryl and Epi-pens here than the drug store has so I don't die if I accidentally touch it.
Rule #2- Hunters don’t “CATCH” anything. Don’t ever ask a hunter if they caught anything. “Got” is acceptable as are multiple other terms but if you ask us if we caught anything expect a long lecture on how hunting works.
Rule #3- He is not my husband and I am not his wife- I Amanda (yes I’m a woman) own Oley’s. By myself. Always have-always will. I have had two male sales managers that most people automatically assume are my husband. This has created a lot of really funny questions and answers. I have been asked thousands of times about my husband. The majority of the time I reply with the question “which one?“ Then people look at me like I have two heads. There are more men that people assume are my husband than I can count. A few years ago a customer was very confused when they told me they met my husband on a snowmobile trail and I answered them “I bet you didn’t”. In the end it was determined that he just met someone with an Oley’s decal on their helmet. Once I was at a jewellery store and a sales lady asked me what my husband thought and I was stunned that she asked me about a husband as I was there alone, possibly with a kid or two with me. I quickly realized the man standing beside me was wearing an Oley’s sweater that was identical to mine and I had to explain that I own that business and I’m buying myself a diamond-no man involved. I had a husband once - they’re very expensive-I do not recommend. They’re like a firearm that just doesn’t perform the way you expect no matter what you do. Trade it in on something that does what it is supposed to and doesn’t cost you a fortune.
Rule #4- I don’t know! I don’t know what you bought. I have never seen that person before. Who??? We know nothing-we tell nothing-end of story. This also extends to the owner. Sometimes people don't get to know where I was and what I did. I occasionally disappear and expect no questions asked because it’s always for a reason you’ll find out later or I hope you never do. I don't know is very important!
Rule#5- Truck rules- #5A-We have no idea which truck we are talking about most of the time, even though they have names stickered on them. #5B-For our trucks with questionable gas gauges- if you didn't fuel it up yesterday-fuel it up today. #5C-Gas goes in the gas trucks (and red cans), diesel goes in the diesel trucks (and yellow cans) and never can they be confused.
Rule #6-Bathroom rules-we have seriously had to post written bathroom rules. We have yet to confirm that customers will follow them but we have had to post them. The understandable rules of don’t flush things that shouldn’t be flushed are there as well as rules about bathing in the bathrooms. This is a real issue! Please don’t have a bath in our washrooms and make us clean it up. And after multiple rounds of repainting the whole room and more than once replacing almost everything- if you exploded in there-you pay for renovations.
Rule #7- I saw him first! This rules applies to about 5 of our least liked customers. This rule is carried out by disappearing if you saw this customer first-they then become someone else problem. Sometimes you have to accept they are your problem if the other person took the last turn with a bad one. There is even one customer I try to sneak a photo of and send it down to another store and negotiate terms on his return back to being their customer. For the most part we are very lucky 99% of our customers are wonderful but there a few we would like to return or send back to the exceptionally hot place they came from/belong in.
Rule #8- What happens at Valentine’s Day is born in deer season. This is pretty self explanatory- but for the love of all-don’t have a baby in deer season. You’re setting yourself up for years of trouble missing birthday parities or missing hunting in deer season and no one wants that. WE DON’T HAVE BABIES IN DEER SEASON!!
There are other rules we follow because laws say we have to but in my mind our own rules are equally as important, as unique as they may be. Just like in your home the rules change over time. But unlike the rules in my parent's home-these one are not meant to be broken.