As I am writing this I am deer hunting-well kind of. I’m just sitting here in the big stand. The one that is heated with a woodstove and has a full kitchen, three bedrooms and two baths. I am really just enjoying the heat and not having to be out in the cold quite yet as rifle season is just three more sleeps away. 

I’m not sure I am the person to discuss clothing as it is not my strong point for sure- but here we go. I own an armoury, an auction house and a fleet of plow trucks. It is basically a guarantee that I am going to get dirty everyday at work and highly likely anything I wear is going to get wrecked. Fashion and what I wear don’t mean much to me and hunting clothes are no exception. I just do my best to stay warm.

Reality is deer are not fashionistas. Sure fancy clothes can be nice and have their benefits but you don’t need to spend thousands on an outfit. Spend your money on a nice gun, premium ammo and the hunt itself. Let your clothes stick to the basics. Put on warm clothes, the required hunter orange and your good to go, even better if you put on some camo in there too. Pretend deer are your most desired mate and aim to please them by smelling just right-which means don’t stink! Deer smell like a pregnant woman- they can smell you before you even touched whatever made you smell in the first place. If you need to bath in scent removal soap and deodorant and spray- do it!

As someone that severely struggles to stay warm at the best of times deer season is a real struggle. Those shake ‘em up- stick em’ on heating pads along side a hot water bottle in my coat are the best things I have discovered to keep warm. Believe me I have tried it all-$300 boots, wool socks, 2 pairs of socks, 3 pairs of socks, heated socks, 1..2..4..6 layers of clothes (if you’ve seen this you know I’m not making it up) and on and on. Just do what you need to do to be able to hunt- even if you look like an Oompa Loompa too, just do it. I would suggesting being prepared to get dressed a little earlier than the rest, and when necessary get help with the clothing round up, especially if your camp is not a dry camp, this can add a few extra minutes to the morning.

Now I think it is more fun to talk about what not to wear hunting, all of this from experience of course. Some of you may not realize that hunting coats don’t last forever, well maybe the fabric does but zippers certainly do not. So picture this-there’s me standing in a crowd of approximately 20 people (more fun because it was my first time hunting with them) trying to put my coat back on after taking it off for lunch. The zipper gets stuck. If the rest of the people there had never seen someone claustrophobic have a little freak out- they have now- not too many seconds passed as I struggled with the zipper when I ripped the coat apart and the zipper went flying never to be seen again. I got to be sewed back into my coat with some wire we found so I could hunt for the afternoon. Fast forward a year and I went hunting with some of the same group and couldn’t find my rubber boots. I found some I had gotten second hand for my son that fit and off I went. Did you know that rubber boots expire and all the rubber flakes off like bad dandruff and then you end up with cold and wet feet? 

In the end I have gone hunting in everything from layer upon layer of clothes with leafy camo and face make-up all the way down to the outfit my parents got me for my birthday and I have shot deer in them all. Whatever you wear or don’t wear to all of you hunting this fall I will you my traditional wish-may you be successful and if you’re really lucky bring home a horny one!