As the owner of Oley’s Armoury and all the other circuses I manage I work eyes open to eyes shut almost every day. I get texts for prices or availability at all hours and work never really ends. Because of what I do I have the absolute weirdest interactions that no one else would ever have I swear.

I’ve inherited the very entertaining ability to talk in my sleep from my dad, and it’s always worse when overtired or stressed about something. I have said the wildest things from screaming there were chicken bugs on me (after butchering chickens), talking about the dinosaur I wanted (but it had to be a metal one from the scrap yard) and last night I said I wanted the muzzle loader flavoured freezies that they had at the store. It sounds gross now but I was really upset I didn’t have any. So when I say owning a gun store complete consumes your life it not only applies to my waking hours but it affects my sleeping hours too.

A few years ago I was hauling a boat from a storage seizure in the middle of the winter, because everyone moves boats in the winter right? About 2km into the trip a bearing failed and the tire flew off the trailer. While trying to convince CAA to hurry up with the tow truck and screaming at her that if she didn’t get one soon she’d better send two and an ambulance because I was almost hit multiple times, I saw the flashing lights of a cruiser pull up. I was doing nothing wrong at all and was happy he was there to provide more safety from someone hitting me. I had a key chain attached to a zipper pull on my coat which just happened to have a tiny plastic Glock on it which immediately caught his attention and prompted the question of whether or not I had any firearms in the truck. My answer was a series of ummms and long pauses and finally ended with “No I don’t!!” The look on his face was priceless. “I own a gun store, I had one in here, couldn’t remember if I took it out but then I remembered I did.” I then handed him a business card and invited him to the store and all was good but he was sure concerned for a minute.

Last summer I was at a resort and was getting ready to head home so I decided to rinse off in an outdoor shower before getting into the car.I was just about to turn off the water when someone came over and asked if I own the black limo in the parking lot. From previous experiences this question is usually only asked after someone smashes your vehicle and with one that big in a smaller parking lot I figured it was going to be bad. I confirmed it was mine and he asked further if it was the one with the firearms on it. Again I said yes but my thoughts went to the fact that I was probably getting kicked out because of them. It blew my mind when I realized it was the owner of the resort and he just wanted to know if I could get a couple handguns he was looking for. Even showers are not exempt in this business.

My grandfather had a prohibited handgun that now lives on the wall behind the main desk at the Armoury. It was a very long process to try to be able to keep it and at one point it didn’t look like it was going to happen so I made sure I was going to get to keep it forever by having it tattooed on my thigh. We later sent it to get deactivated which my father didn’t know about and it was a surprise for him the day we went to pick it up. That wasn’t his only surprise of the day. We stopped in to pick it up however they were having a hard time locating it so my dad wondered off to look around. I could not find a picture of it anywhere on my phone to show the man but then remembered it was on my leg. So there’s me, with my pants pulled down in Ellwood Epps’ gun room pointing to my tattoo saying “That! That is the one I want” as my dad walks back in the room. I don’t think much I do shocks my dad anymore but that was way up there on the list of the ways I have embarrassed him.

When meeting someone new and being asked what I do I often just go with “I own a few businesses”. Sometimes I elaborate and then cringe waiting for their response but to be honest I can’t remember a time I got a really bad reaction. Sometimes it requires further explanation and education but that is part of the responsibility of having my title. And sometimes I just tell people I am the wrangler of the $#!+ show because I think that’s even more accurate. But I wouldn’t change it for the world, no mater how much craziness I have to deal with everyday.